Your name is STEF DORIAN, and you’re a bit too old for placronym gaffes or arm related antics. Please. Your sense of humor is far more mature than that. Only the highest caliber dick jokes, for you!

At current you are standing poised and dignified near your door, trying to contain just how antsy you really are at this moment. You are in posession of a copy of SBURB BETA, without any CONVULUTED MACHINATIONS UNRELATED TO THE PLOT cluttering your narrative scope so you can GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.

But most importantly, you are waiting anxiously for your best friends to log onto Pesterchum. All three of them are given to being incredibly elusive. Today is the day you will play this game, an amazing game you are sternly convinced will change not only the face of the planet, but set the universe itself right. According to your hackneyed research, anyways. Among your interests are HISTORY, and the entire genre of SCIENCE FICTION in every iteration. You also have a thing for METAL VIXENS and STEELY SEXBOTS, but above all is your admiration of PRINCESSES.You OBSESSIVELY collect ROYAL REGALIA for this reason, and much of your research into HISTORY deals with MONARCHIES. You’re a little too old for starry-eyed dreams of PRINCES coming to save you from the TOWER you may or may not currently be living in at SEVENTEEN, but a girl can dream, can she not? She can dream of TIARAs and TEA PARTIES, SCEPTERS and SPACE FLEETS.

Near your bed lies SPIKE, a precious present from a PROMISCUOUS PALHONCHO. Feeling especially cuddly all of a sudden, you seek to allocate SPIKE to your CONDITIONAL MODUS. You set your lively gaze upon SPIKE’s lusterless eyes. Sparks dance between your held gazes. You move over and stroke his lucious lavender coat and coral pink mane as you do daily, always sure to polish his plush horn.

He is your everything.

Your chumhandle is absinthePrincess, and you spend a considerable amount of TIME sounding enthused (!!! >w<), but can never quite seem to ask the right questions! But your narrative can wait! Another chum beckons the attentions of narrative scope!!!